Monster Tales: A Collection of Short Monster Stories
by Archangel Arcadia
Summary: You've read Monster Hunter fanfics about the dramatic lives of hunters. What about the monsters? Do THEY have their tales to tell? Welcome to Monster Tales, exposing the deep lives of those monsters you love and hate. One-shot anthology, may get bloody at later chapters.


Ahh a beautiful sunny morning in the east plains neaby Yukumo Village. Monsters roaming around, Popos getting eaten, Congas pelting Tigrex's with their anal waste, the usual. We start off the day with one of the most intelligent and amazing species of monsters we usually find...

The Qurupeco. Or how we would call him: _'Reggae'_

"Kweh!" Reggae was busy pecking the floating stump in the muddy marsh, thinking it was a large floating tree stump filled with worms. Several seconds later, the poor retarded avian was smacked away by the angry stump, revealed to be a Barroth. Poor bird. Giving up on pecking the Barroth (not wanting to get an early Game Over) Reggae sets his wings on a pond, where it tries to catch fish for breakfast.

Soon as it was ready to strike the prey, an uninvited Jaggi decided to steal his hard-earned meal.

"Krohohohohoho!" the annoying Jaggi chuckled after stealing Reggae's catch.

"KWEEEH!" the bird screeched in frustration.

Hey, at least he **TRIED**. Soon he decided to spear another fish with his beak, only to be interrupted by another one. "Grrr..." Reggae growled in hatred before attempting to spear one. Having common sense, he checked whether another bastard would attempt to steal his breakfast and voila, another Jaggi was inching near him.

"Grr... rrr..." Reggae inflated his voice thingamajig and let out a brain-splitting Deviljho roar. Out of fear, the Jaggi trio decided to run off. "Hmph." he puffed to himself before attempting to spear another one. Soon, visible puffs of breath were smacking his ear. Letting out another screech, Reggae immediately stopped after seeing that the creature he yelled at...

Was a real Deviljho...

"Gulp..." Reggae sweatdropped in nervousness before clearing his throat, taking a gulp of water, gurgling it and spitting it out.

Several moments later...

"WAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!" the Qurupeco started running away like the fires of Fatalis were incinerating his anal pads with the Deviljho in hot pursuit.

"ROOOAAAAAARGH!" Deviljho let out a Godzilla roar as he chased Reggae. As the chase went on, they saw a stop sign on the road. Immediately they halted the chase and waited for the crossing... Felynes?

"Meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow..." the pedestrian cats were chatting up while crossing the road. Reggae became irritated afterwards while looking at his 'wrist', checking a conveniently-placed watch for the time. "Grrr..." he snarled at the retardedly long line. The Deviljho was busy growling out the Monster Hunter theme song as he waited, being surprisingly more patient than Reggae.

"Meowmeowmeow..." the pedestrian Felynes were gone, suggesting a continuation to the chase. "Eh-erm... WAAAAAAH!" Reggae started wailing like an idiot before catching the attention of two hunters: One male in an Amatsumagatsuchi armor and a female with the Vangis set. As the Deviljho's jaws were several milimeters away from Reggae's head, he stopped at the sight of the female Vangis hunter, looking extremely hot.

"Uhh..." the female hunter sweatdropped. Soon the Deviljho's eyes became cactus-like hearts and started drooling buckets.

"Konata..." the male hunter whispered.

"Yes, Zonity?" the female, known as Konata, answered.

"Wanna run?"

"You bet."

Soon the Deviljho changed targets from Reggae to Konata and Zonity, well mostly Konata. "Whew..." Reggae sighed in relief and flew off to his next destination. Immediately, his head snapped realizing he was capable of outrunning, err... outflying the fierce beast.

"Grrrr... KWUUUUUUUUUUUU!" he made the rage-face and roared in frustration.

It was afternoon after the whole Deviljho incident and Reggae was flying around the sand dunes, nearly dying of thirst. His eyes snapped as he saw a conveniently-constructed lake with Red Qurupecos roaming nearby. "Kweeee-kweew!" he whistled and dove head-first to the lake and ended up cracking his skull. After the mirage faded it was actually the back of a sleeping Daimyo Hermitaur.

Poor Reggae continued his 'epic' journey for survival and eventually reached the REAL lake, from Monster Hunter Freedom Unite. "Sniff... KWUHUHUHUHU!" he cried happily that he was able to survive the harsh environments and the bastardly monsters. Immediately he began gulping the water and in a matter of seconds, he drained a small pond dry.

All of a sudden a roar was piercing the silence. Soon the nearby animals began running away. Reggae looked around in confusion on why and who they're running away from. Loud footsteps shook the ground. As our Quru-protagonist turns around he spots none other than the King of the Skies: Rathalos, looking for a challenge.

Reggae tried to run away but saw the animals looking at him with fear. He immediately regrets his cowardly attempt and faced the Rathalos, all of a sudden gaining something to fight for.

Rathalos began with a swift charge to Reggae, only to be evaded and countered with a sharp peck to the skull. Rathalos grunted out in pain and bit Reggae's wing following up with a flaming ball at point-blank range. The avian's wing was severely burned. "Kraaarrgh!" he cried out in pain as he licked the burnt wound.

Rathalos began combo-ing Reggae with several fire-spits and crunches to the neck. Reggae tried to fight back but was severed by the Rathalos' neck lock.

His vision was blurring and looked at the sun one last time... until a bomb interrupted the Rathalos, causing it to flinch.

At Reggae's surprise, the animals, specifically Felynes, Popos, Genpreys and Aptanoths were unleashing blows on the wyvern. As soon as our main monster was set free, he finished off the Rathalos with a big sharp kick to the 'Dragon Balls' before killing it with a fatal beak jab to the temple.

Rathalos fell to the ground, heavily bleeding. The animals roared in joy for defeating the tyrant ruling over their domain. Their cries of joy turned into cries of sorrow as the Qurupeco also fell out of blood loss. "Kwuh..." it passed out.

Several hours later...

Reggae woke up in a cavern being nursed by Felynes. He tried to stand up but was crippled by his burnt wing.

One Felyne came to him and told him the bad news.

"Meow meowmeowmmrr- meow mrrreow... mrrrow meowmeowmeowmeow mrrr..."

Translation to English for the readers who aren't Ukanlos in a tuxedo...

_"I'm sorry but you won't live for long... because the loss of blood will most likely kill you. You only have until sunset..."_

The avian frowned at this and began limping outside. It was just one hour left before sunset and he wanted to cherish his last hour. He went to the same area where he was fishing earlier by forcibly flying with his severely hurt wings. Soon Reggae decided to eat his last fish. This time the Jaggis were still there, but decided to let the bird have his last peck.

After the meal he came across some hunters. Exactly 2 minutes before he dies.

The hunters noticed his battle cry and decided to hunt down the injured Qurupeco. Soon they were around him armed with Greatswords, Longswords, Hammers, Lances, etc.

Instead of fighting, Reggae just quietly lied down on the ground.

_4:59:56_

_4:59:57_

"Ggghhh..." the bird grunted out in pain.

_4:59:58_

_4:59:59_

_SPLAT!_

One big swing ends the early life of Reggae...


End file.
